The Impact of Divorce for Children
by : Mardhatillah
by : Mardhatillah
In this 21st century, divorce is no longer a taboo
phenomenon in the
society. Divorce
seems to be more socially acceptable and is also the common phenomenon that happens nowadays. However, it is bad for a couple to divorce if they have children because divorce is crippling and impeding to the development and growth of children. There are different impacts on children
depending on the reason for the divorce of their parents. Children learn not only from what they hear, but
also from what they see. Hence,
when they see another family smiling and they see their own family frowning
with tears, they start to understand that divorce is the result of the unhappiness in marriage. The following reasons will present both negative
and positive sides about the impact of divorce for children.
On the negative side,
children become the most painful victims in divorce. Most
children feel
stressful, miserable and also
unable to concentrate on studying. The situation and
condition surrounding the
divorce often make it hard for the children
to focus on academic goals. In such cases, children are bound to lose their
self confidence and lose all motivation to
study. When
children feel so much anger because of divorce that they perforce for doing crimes, teen pregnancy before marriage and taking drugs as a way of dealing with their
anger. As
a result,
many children have higher chances of
becoming delinquents. According to the statistics from Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), “ When the
divorce happens so the children consist of two
boys and a daughter just live with her mother, the daughter should be pregnant; one of the boys should have committed
suicide;
and the other should be a drug addict”.
That is way, when a
couple gets divorced,
they hurt their children
more than they hurt
themselves.
According to Horn Wade and Busy in “Marriage and Welfare Reform” from Hudson Institute Executive Briefing said that there are 40% of children growing up in the world today without one of their
parents. Many children in the world whose parents divorce feel as if their
worlds are falling apart. During the divorce, children also lose the care and support from one of their
parents who ever stays with them in a united family. They feel unsecured
because they do not have enough
protection,
care and attention from parents.
They feel that they lose one of their parents who are being around them
before. Sometimes, children who have ever seen the parent’s separation, fails to make relationships on their own because they do not see any successful relationship.
Most people think that there is nothing positive about
divorce because the negative is more obvious and is often talked about. However, divorce can be a positive thing when the human
trafficking happens in the family. There are fathers who traffic their children
in order to earn money. That father has worked hard on his own, but the salary
that he gets still cannot fulfill his family’s needs. Moreover, if he has many
children and his wife does not work. He has to be responsible on all of them.
Another reason can
be seen in a person who had ever been in a broken family. He will become more precautious in his choice for a mate
because he does not want to put
his children through
the pain like he has felt. Divorce
can also be a
positive thing, when
the marriage is in a high
conflict and the children are faced to be in an environment where they see
a lack of affection, respect
and trust. Perhaps it is better to end marriage rather than let
children have a bad development. According to Judith Wallerstein, who is one of
the experts on divorce, has admitted that divorce is necessary
when children are being exposed to violence, or receiving physical, or sexual abuse that cannot be resolved by
individual or family therapy. In these instances, the children survive and even
thrive in time, having been saved from a harmful environment. Obviously, a
parent has to use wisdom when marriage
is untenable or destructive.
Following
this debate, there is so
much controversy concerning the impact of divorce for children. Some people
agree if the divorce has a lot of negative impacts for children while others
disagree because there are a lot of positive impacts too. However, I stand on
my opinion that the divorce has a
lot of troubles according to the
misery which damages
the children more. Divorce will impact children’s psychological,
mental and emotional. Therefore, couples
that have children should think carefully
before they end their marriage in divorce; otherwise their children may be deeply painful and become victims for this situation.
Sources:
http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/fcs482.pdf
Sources:
http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/fcs482.pdf
